I am in a “long-term” relationship. I have been with my partner for almost 3 years. We have been quite happy together but have gotten to a stage where we fight often – not screaming matches, or anything like that; but stubborn duels that end in regret – and easily frustrate each other. I don’t think we will be embarking on this journey together.
I believe that my personality has been significantly impacted by the unhappy situation I have found myself in. This rubs off on him. He resents me for it.
I have hope, in a better situation, away from all that negatively affects our lives, there is a chance things can work out. However, he doesn’t want the life that could potentially lead to that.
He has taken the default position. He believes the life that we live currently, that he wishes to continue, is normal. Any deviation from the norm is criticised with implications of selfishness. Compromise can only happen if I move closer to the norm – the thing I most want to get away from.
He is all or nothing. The idea of him travelling between houses – sustaining a long-distance relationship if you will – isn’t worth it, he says. It may as well just end. Due to the features of my ideal, I cannot be the one that does the travel.
I try to talk about it. It depresses him. We get no where. This is the stumbling block.